Education Is The Greatest Tool.

Recently, it's been more and more difficult to stick to clean eating. I don't know if thats because of lack of money, time or motivation but I've been powering through with very little slip ups. I seem to be stuck at around the same weight of 177lbs and it's going to take a lot of effort to get down to the 60's.

    This is why I have been reading as much info on free weights, cardio, strength training and nutrition as I can. I am practising what I preach and doing at least a 20 minute work out three times a week but I want this to increase. I've also made a twitter dedicated to me losing weight/becoming fitter. It's an amazing resource, the 'fitfam' on twitter are generally supportive and motivating. It's sad to see a lot of people suffering from ED's on there but you can't judge people, it's an illness not a frame of mind.

I felt terrible when someone jokingly said it sounded like I was developing an eating disorder with how often i talk about exercise and calories. I'm just determined and focused, some might even call it obsessed but that doesn't mean I've developed an eating disorder, I'm not angry on my behalf, I'm angry on behalf of all of the ED sufferer's that have a constant battle with themselves which is a million times worse than I have. I don't want anyone to have their sufferings belittled by saying anyone who watches what they eat and exercises has an eating disorder.

   

    Last night, I was thinking about why I want to lose weight and become healthy. It seems obvious doesn't it? Because I'm unhappy with how I look, but i've been unhappy with how I look for a very long time and never before have I put this much effort into changing. I look at how I used to look in school, when I was on countless sports teams, walked everywhere and barely had time to eat snacks because I was always on the go. Thats where I want my life to go back to. It's difficult, with my bi-polar disorder, to find the motivation to get up and do things some days but I cant (and wont) use that as an excuse. There are a lot of things that I enjoy doing, such as playing basket ball, tennis, football and dancing that I could easily indulge in, it's just finding the motivation to do it. I also, genuinely enjoy going to the gym, I like the atmosphere and I like being able to change up what I do all the time. I don't like the fact that the only decent gym is a bus ride away and because of my unsociable working hours i'd have no one to go with! That's an obstacle I can overcome though.

     I will start keeping on top of this blog, perhaps not daily posts, because not a lot can change in a day! but a lot more frequent! :)

Moosey xo

P.S This is the kind of body I am working towards, ambitious, I know.

This is the lovely model/designer of a clothing company called Toxic Vision. If you like alternative clothing, check it out :)